In case you were wondering, the real Jesus is exactly what the Church should be like. I know that, for some churches, He would not be in attendance.

He is loving and kind, and He does not judge. He is very slow to anger, extremely thoughtful, and so patient with His children. Anytime I have messed up or slipped back into sin, He lovingly picks me back up and gets me back on track. Every time, He has never lost His temper with me. I have given Him plenty of reasons to, and if He wanted to, He could have, but He always chooses love and never gives up on me. He would not give up on you, either. He always makes me feel so deeply loved every day, no matter what happens, so much so that I have no doubt He would ever forsake me—ever!

When I hear some of these sermons being so cruel to God’s children, teaching others to hate or judge each other, or making others feel unloved by God and breaking their spirits down, driving them away from Him because some pastors are preaching hate in God’s name, it makes Him very angry. He would never do that.

God hates sin, yes, and as Christians, we are called to live by His Word. But He would never make someone feel as though they are not loved or shame them. I have had many experiences in churches or in videos online where I heard hateful comments from pastors, spoken with so much pride, tearing others down as though they had never sinned before and speaking as if they were God themselves. It used to—and still does—upset me so much that I have cried more times than I could count.

That worries me so much for other people like me. Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine waking up excited to go to church to hear the Word of God because you have been going through some rough times. You feel lonely and distant from God because of the stresses of life that we all face, and you are craving the love of your Creator so badly. You cannot wait to see what God reveals to you, hoping you will receive a message that makes you feel special and seen, close to Him, and loved.

It starts off great: you are happy, singing songs, listening, and waiting to get into the Word of God with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. But instead, you hear a pastor who is not God spewing so much hate and judgment in the name of Jesus. Your excitement immediately disappears. You feel as though you are on display in front of the entire congregation. You get looks of disgust and disapproval, as if they know that you are the one being talked about. That feeling of being part of a community leaves you. You fight to hold back the tears, and I hate to say this, but you start to feel as though this was the message you were meant to hear: that God does not love you anymore, that maybe you were a mistake, and that you never should have been born.

That is what happened to me. Starting from a very young age, I was a very effeminate boy growing up, and I did not know why I was like that. It started me down a long road of self-hatred that I am still healing from to this day, even though I know the truth now.

This is a big reason why God answered my prayer to be able to hear His voice. If I had not said that prayer, I never would have given up on having a relationship with God because of what my grandmother instilled in me. But I worry about the kids who did not have someone like that in their lives. If I had not had my grandma telling me that I mattered to Jesus, I would have a completely different story. I probably would never have come back to the Lord. I would have been pushed down a path of straying farther away from Him and toward destruction. So many problems can and do arise from the false belief that you were a mistake and that God does not love you. I could probably write a book about the damage it causes.

I am going to leave you with a message for pastors, preachers, or youth leaders who preach the Bible to people: Please think before you preach, and do not ever rely solely on what you believe to be true. There is no need to avoid asking God whether something is in His will for you to say. You have a huge responsibility. Please do not take this the wrong way, but it is so simple to ask God what He thinks or to ask Him to reveal the truth. In my opinion, everyone should always do this with everything in their life, but especially when preaching the Word.

And to all the people who have experienced this exact same thing, God wants me to tell you that you are NOT a mistake, and He feels all your pain. It hurts His heart so much to see and feel you hurting. Believe it or not, He is actually closer to you because of this, and that is biblical. Read Psalm 34:18.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Do not ever let something a person has told you come between you and a relationship with your Heavenly Father. Talk with Him, share your pain with Him, and He will heal your hurt.

You will not regret it. Trust me.