There was a time in my life where I felt so alone and struggled to connect to the world around me. I was a very shy and withdrawn kid. I stuck to myself a lot and didn’t have a lot of friends. I grew up going to church my whole life with my family but I also knew I was gay from a very young age and I’ll explore that more deeply in a future post.

Growing up, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere and believed God hated me, so I pushed Him away—out of sight, out of mind. That went on for years. Then after getting into an extremely abusive relationship and going through a lot of hard times I was so depressed and lonely.

Little by little, I started coming back to God. I started talking to him like he was right next to me. I would tell him about my life, the ups and downs, I would be silly and laugh, I would ramble for hours, and slowly I started to feel less alone.

As time went on I started to learn about spiritual gifts he would give people. I became fascinated by them.

I started thinking how cool it would be if God gave me one of those gifts, so I said a prayer and told him how much I loved him and how I would love it if he chose one for me. I also told him how badly I wanted to hear his voice.

I went to bed and to be honest I almost forgot I said that prayer. I feel like this post is getting a little long and there’s a lot left to this story, so I’m going to continue this and tell you all what happened next tomorrow.

To be continued